Your assumptions are extreme to say the least. If something like that happened, it would have most likely resulted from something you did since it was working fine before. Did you plug anything into it you shouldn't have?
Larry Pina suggests the solution may be a simple one. He recommends lubricating the microswitch with WD-40. It simply is not recognizing a disk has been inserted. If these drives are old and in poor condition, always give it a good cleaning before going off on a tangent.
And please. Do give a post at least 24 hours to respond. Despite 27 views some may actually be formulating an intelligent response or consulting books. This ain't a genius bar with paid help. And most of us aren't geniuses.
Also, what's with the sophomoric metaphors? "Pooped the bed"? Really?
Dog Cow, regarding item 7 on Joshua Coventry's cleaning instructions, Larry Pina says not to pull the springs apart a millimeter more than necessary. He goes into great detail about not prying the read heads apart at all. I'll scan his notes some day as they are quite detailed and excellent for the Superdrive cleaning and repair. Or, pick up a copy of the Dead Mac Scrolls.