Let me guess . . . I NEED that frickin' ROM SIMM to get this thing to boot . . . :

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Nope, not given the circumstances.

First, you wouldn't get a startup chime at all if the machine needed a ROM SIMM.

Second, IIsi's without logic board ROMs are very rare. The chances of you ending up with one of the rare ones that didn't have the ROM soldered to the logic board is extremely low.

RAM must be installed in identical groups of four in the IIsi. You may already know that, but just in case...