Massive update (well, relatively speaking):

Following mwdmeyer's advice, I washed the motherboard in the dishwasher, dried it, rinced in 99% isopropyl alcohol, dried it and left it in a casserole bowl filled with rice overnight. Today, it boots!!!

Any idea how to adjust the tint so it's less 'pink'? Please tell me I don't need some special tool. Please say I can use a random screwdriver or bit.