Actually, I think I might have figured it out... It seems not only the plastic buttons for reset/debug were broken, but... Are the actual buttons on the motherboard for reset/debug supposed to be very clicky? If so, the actual buttons are broken and are both being held in constantly. Which seems like it might cause an issue, wouldn't it? Anyway, just in case desoldering the buttons doesn't fix anything, here's a Google Photos album of my mainboard. Let me know if you'd like me to zoom in on any specific areas and upload more. https://goo.gl/photos/6tXeEQS7s5X8ct768

Thank you!