Update:
After a few days of sneering at it, I decided to fire it up and see if it still worked. To my great surprise, it started right up, and the screen even comes on (which the auction said it didn't). It's running OS 9.1 with 64 MB of RAM and an upgraded 10 GB hard drive.
The seller finally got back to me this afternoon, and offered me $250 back. I'm a little torn because at this point, finding a new Bose base and CD-ROM door is going to take several years. But finding an affordable TAM could take even longer.
What would you guys do?