Unfortunately the thing was from an as-is recycler, and even though a DOA warranty was offered, his policy states clearly that any tinkering with the machine post-purchase voids the warranty. So essentially, because I bothered to look in the case to figure out what the hell was flying around inside of it, I already voided any chance of a return. I'll still likely contact them, but I doubt I'll get anything out of them, not that I didn't deserve it for buying something off of eBay =\

-Academician