In Search Of The Talking Moose

In Search of the Talking Moose? Who is the Talking Moose? Where did he come from? How did he get here? What does he want from us? Is Steve Halls the only person to see a Talking Moose in the flesh? Why did Steve write the Talking Moose program? Why is Baseline publishing it? What is the Talking Moose philosophy? Why does the Talking Moose like Macintoshes? What does a Talking Moose eat? Is the Talking Moose connected to UFOs? Why are there so many questions in this introduction? These questions and more we will try to answer tonight on... In Search of the Talking Moose. Where did the Talking Moose come from? Scientists are at a loss to explain the exact origins of the Talking Moose. In fact, only in the past few years have some members of the scientific community come to accept the Talking Moose as a reality. The meager data collected so far seems to indicate that there were once huge herds of carnivorous moose shaped dinosaurs that roamed the earth. Named TyrannaMoosus Rex (“Thunder Moose King”) by an obscure Canadian paleontologist these dinosaurs were responsible for many of the practical jokes that were played on unsuspecting herbivores in the Jurrasic era. The links between the ancient Moose-lizard and the modern day Talking Moose are tentative at best. Some archaeologists suggest that the thunder mooses foresaw the coming of the ice ages, disappeared into a large cave in New Jersey, and left a wake up call for the morning. If they did, then they have overslept. The next suggestion of the Talking Moose comes from the burial chamber of an ancient Egyptian king, Ra- Moos-ese. Ra-Moos-ese‘s tomb was discovered by a curious Egyptian shepherd in 1920 when he noticed that a herd of elk would gather every June 23 at an old watering hole. When the boy told the local authorities they didn't believe him because elk are not native to Egypt. Finally, the young lad contacted the Canadian consulate of Egypt and they agreed to examine his claim. The old watering hole turned out to be the partially destroyed burial crypt of the aforementioned Ra-Moos- ese. Over the door appeared the inscription, “Enter not here or thou whilst be followed be that which walks ...and the moose did grin and the carp and the antelope and the fruit bats and the anchovies did feast upon (untranslatable) by the great river... ...and the moose said, “One. Thou shalt say hello in the morning. Two. Thou shalt say goodbye in the evening. Three. Thou shalt crack jokes in the between.” And the animals did look upon him and they saw his bow tie was red and the great king gurgled for a while and was glad. Heady stuff indeed! In a tragic side note, every member of the expedition died within a few years of each other under mysterious circumstances. The only clue to the unexplained deaths was a note one of the members of the expedition had scribbled shortly before his death. “Beware the Moose,” was…