Os Arlines Humor

Date: Tue, 22 Nov 1994 01:30:56 -0600 From: farber@central.cis.upenn.edu (David Farber) (by way of Subject: If Operating Systems Were Airlines Humor :-) Message was resent -- Original recipients were: To: Multiple recipients of list <nrsing-l@nic.umass.edu>-------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------- Couldn't resist this little bit of list-abuse because it captures so much of what we know and so much of what lurks between the lines of many postings over the last few months: IF OPERATING SYSTEMS WERE AIRLINES....... If operating systems were airlines..... > DOS Air: All the passengers go out onto the runway, grab hold of > the plane, push it until it gets in the air, hop on, jump off > when it hits the ground again. Then they grab the plane again, > push it back into the air, hop on, et cetera. > > Mac Airways: The cashiers, flight attendants and pilots all look > the same, feel the same and act the same. When asked questions > about the flight, they reply that you don't want to know, don't > need to know and would you please return to your seat and watch the > movie. > > Windows Airlines: The terminal is very neat and clean, the > attendants all very attractive, the pilots very capable. The > fleet of Learjets the carrier operates is immense. Your jet > takes off without a hitch, pushing above the clouds, and at > 20,000 feet it explodes without warning. > > OS/2 Skyways: The terminal is almost empty, with only a few > prospective passengers milling about. The announcer says that their > flight has just departed, wishes them a good flight, though there > are no planes on the runway. Airline personnel walk around, > apologizing profusely to customers in hushed voices, pointing from > time to time to the sleek, powerful jets outside the terminal on the > field. They tell each passenger how good the real flight will be > on these new jets and how much safer it will be than Windows > Airlines, but that they will have to wait a little longer for > the technicians to finish the flight systems. Maybe until > mid-1995. Maybe longer. > > Fly Windows NT: All the passengers carry their seats out onto the > tarmac, placing the chairs in the outline of a plane. They all sit > down, flap their arms and make jet swooshing sounds as if they are > flying. > > Unix Express: all passenger bring a piece of the airplane and a > box of tools with them to the airport. They gather on the tarmac, > arguing constantly about what kind of plane they want to build > and how to put it together. Eventually, the passengers split into > groups and build several different aircraft, but give them all > the same name. Some passengers actually reach their destinations. > All passengers believe they got there. > > Wings of OS/400: The airline has bought ancient DC-3s, arguably > the best and safest planes that ever flew, and painted "747" on > their tails to make them look as if they are fast. The flight > attendants, of course, attend to your…