Star Trek Microsoft Joke

Date: Mon, 15 Aug 1994 07:21:34 +0000 From: wlt@mercurio.uc.pt (Wagner Luiz Truppel) Subject: A joke that Mac & ST:TNG fans will love A friend of mine sent me this little piece. Enjoy. >"Star Trek Lost Episodes" transcript. >. ><Picard> "Mr. LaForge, have you had any success with your >attempts at finding a weakness with the Borg? And Mr. Data, >have you been able to access their command pathways?" >. ><Geordi> "Yes, Captain. In fact, we found the answer by >searching through our archives on late twentieth-century >computing technology." >. ><Geordi presses a key, and a logo appears on the computer >screen.> >. ><Riker looks puzzled.> "What the hell is 'Microsoft'?" >. ><Data turns to answer.> "Allow me to explain. We will send >this program, for some reason called 'Windows,' through >the Borg command pathways. Once inside their root com- >mand unit, it will begin consuming system resources at an >unstoppable rate." >. ><Picard> "But the Borg have the ability to adapt. Won't >they alter their processing systems to increase their storage >capacity?" >. ><Data> "Yes, Captain. But when 'Windows' detects this, it >will create a new version of itself called an 'upgrade.' The >use of resources increases exponentially with each iteration. >The Borg will not be able to adapt quickly enough. >Eventually all of their processing ability will be taken over >and none will be available for their normal operational >functions." >. ><Picard> "Excellent work. This is even better than that >'unsolvable geometric shape' idea." >. ><. . . 15 minutes later . . .> >. ><Data> "Captain, we have successfully installed the >'Windows' in the command unit and, as expected, it >immediately consumed 85% of all resources. We, however, >have not received any confirmation of the expected >'upgrade.'" >. ><Geordi> "Our scanners have picked up an increase in Borg >storage and CPU capacity to compensate, but we still have no >indication of an 'upgrade' to compensate for their increase." >. ><Picard> "Data, scan the history books again and determine >if there is something we have missed." >. ><Data> "Sir, I believe there is a reason for the failure in the >'upgrade.' Apparently the Borg have circumvented that part >of the plan by not sending in their 'registration cards.'" >. ><Riker> "Captain, we have no choice. Requesting >permission to begin emergency escape sequence 3F . . ." >. ><Geordi, excited> "Wait, Captain, I just detected that their >CPU capacity has suddenly dropped to 0%!" >. ><Picard> "Data, what do your scanners show?" >. ><Data> "Apparently the Borg have found the internal >'Windows' module named 'solitaire' and it has used up all >the CPU capacity." >. ><Picard> "Let's wait and see how long this 'solitaire' can >reduce their functionality." >. ><. . . Two hours pass . . .> >. ><Riker> "Geordi, what's the status of the Borg?" >. ><Geordi> "As expected the Borg are attempting to re- >engineer to compensate for increased CPU and storage >demands, but eac…