Had you asked me 15 years ago I could have helped.

Speaking of which, my brother wrote a "virus" in AppleScript.  It's loaded on one of the secretary's computers (at behest of the other secretaries as the longest running April Fool's Joke.)  He hates the Chipmunks, so every Christmas it plays Chipmunks Christmas songs.  You can't mute it or anything.  It's been like that for past 3 years.