I added the extra memory to the Lapis SE/30 card.  It didn't do anything.  The card still identifies as a PDS/30 17 and not a PDS/30 21, it also didn't offer any additional resolution or color depth.  So I guess I'd need to change the ROM as well, but I doubt I'd ever find one.

As for the other Lapis card in the SE, I got the same picture on the Apple Portrait as I did on the LCD.  So it could be a sync issue.  Maybe the vertical and horizontal are switched?  I don't know.