Berts Adventures

Late one evening somewhere in the midwest an alien spacecraft crash lands into an open field. The event would have gone unnoticed if not for an elderly couple on their way home from their weekly bridge party. But Fred... He’s so cute. Once you crazy dames get something into your heads... They took the child home and named him “Bert”. Bert developed at an alarming rate in every way. Bert grew older, and as an ado- lescent he led a normal life. Despite this he always felt that he was somehow different than his friends. Somehow he knew that he was destined for something more. One day his parents told him that they were taking a trip because they had a secret to reveal to him on the “Jerry Spindler Show”. Bert had watched the show before and racked his brain…what could the secret be? Bert, your parents have brought you here today to reveal a secret. Ethel do Oh my GOD! you have something to say to Bert? Bert, I don’t know how to tell you this, so I’ll just come out and say it… you’re an ALIEN and a weird one at that; not like that cute “Kazoo” on the Flintsones. Wait Bert… This golf ball was in the spaceship where we found you. help me Obi-Wan Canasta help me obi-wan Bat Boy, Mr. I want I’m headed for “The Big City” to Gregory why are some hands find a way home. Bat Boy maybe you both crying? you can find some hands there, and Mr. Gregory maybe you can find the “King” there.…