Thread

Taking a Poo in the outback?

MacNN Troubleshooting 17 posts Jan 4, 2004 to Jan 6, 2004

#1 Sun, 4 Jan 2004 - 21:54 MacNN

Well, I was taking a camping trip with some friends out in the outback, when I needed to go do a poo. I was like yeah, big deal, if nature calls, nature calls.

So I took some toilet paper, found somewhere remote and bend my knees to do a poo.
Crouching stationary there, I started to poo. Then something dumb strucked. The poo had reached the ground without even fully exiting yet.

What the????

So I stood up with my legs spread out wide, and pooed while standing up. Who would of known bush life would be so frustrating.

Learning from that experience, I will now dig a hole beforehand.

#2 Sun, 4 Jan 2004 - 21:56 MacNN

I take it you had no pants around your ankles.

#3 Sun, 4 Jan 2004 - 22:05 MacNN

Quote:

Originally posted by Socially Awkward Solo:
I take it you had no pants around your ankles.

That's formally called "ankle_brains" you know....

#4 Sun, 4 Jan 2004 - 22:41 MacNN

You dig a hole first you tit.

#5 Sun, 4 Jan 2004 - 22:49 MacNN

Unless your poo is composed of solid cobalt, it should have just bent, twisted and coiled itself around like a soft serve ice cream cone. Freak.

#6 Mon, 5 Jan 2004 - 06:11 MacNN

Quote:

Originally posted by acadian:
Unless your poo is composed of solid cobalt, it should have just bent, twisted and coiled itself around like a soft serve ice cream cone.

Yummy, that sounds good...

#7 Mon, 5 Jan 2004 - 06:23 MacNN

LOL.

I see the point about a hole.. but why take the time to do that when you can just well um yeah.

err.. ok that's gross..

#8 Mon, 5 Jan 2004 - 11:45 MacNN

Reasons to dig.

Quote:

natural toilet paper: Leaves, sticks, smooth stones, snow

Sticks?!?

#9 Mon, 5 Jan 2004 - 12:09 MacNN

sticks makes sense...but smooth stones? not sure about you, but it would take several dozen smooth stones. unless of course they are huge, but then...try lifting them to wipe?! or do you just hoover + 'wipe' over one large smooth stone leaving a racing stripe?

but sticks, as well as corn cobs, work just fine. i guess the smooth stones idea is where people got the 'just use a dollar...but i only had 4 quarters' ass wiping joke.

#10 Mon, 5 Jan 2004 - 16:27 MacNN

Is that where those funny striped stones come from?

#11 Mon, 5 Jan 2004 - 17:54 MacNN

This place is scaring me now (yeah, it took this long!), only here could a group of people discuss the technicalities of taking a

in the woods.

#12 Mon, 5 Jan 2004 - 19:07 MacNN

Quote:

Originally posted by ajprice:
This place is scaring me now (yeah, it took this long!), only here could a group of people discuss the technicalities of taking a in the woods.

Silly goose there ARE no woods in the outback!

#13 Mon, 5 Jan 2004 - 19:38 MacNN

What a thread.
Anyway, Ken, there is a book just for you:

A classic outdoor guidebook.

#14 Mon, 5 Jan 2004 - 20:06 MacNN

Been there, done that... and didn't enjoy it!

#15 Mon, 5 Jan 2004 - 20:16 MacNN

I can remember my grandmother going during our walks on the farm. I never had to poo though. Have used an outhouse on more than one occasion.

#16 Mon, 5 Jan 2004 - 20:29 MacNN

I think one point that has been sorely missed here is that the nature of the poo itself dictates the manner in which one handles it. It's alot easier to deal with a cleanly pinched lincoln log in the buff than one of those runny, volcano type spew poo's.

#17 Tue, 6 Jan 2004 - 03:04 MacNN

Trouble with those smooth stones is that they don't so much soak it up as spread it around...