good topic. i think i may take the cake on this one. but i'll start off small. i get this search string every single day:

nude russell crowe

and no, i don't have any pictures of mr.crowe, nude or otherwise on my site. it's mostly people searching from outside the US too. the interesting things you learn from apache logs....

my list only shows the most popular 25 out of 36,944 total. I'm guessing every word known to man doesn't add up to 36,944.

interestingly, the 9th most popular 'word' was 2.0 - hmmm

the most popular? download

this is from a rather unique computer hardware/distributed computing/overclocking site.

another one:

"5+jpg+little+boys"

this one kind of scares me.
no idea what this person was looking for, but they didn't find it.

from one of my monthly reports:

#199 of top 200: pill bottle pictures

i had 13 seperate searches for uncle liza

who ever that is ??

[ 06-06-2001: Message edited by: dark flask ]

There's a whole website devoted to this topic at Disturbing Search Requests.

It's some of the funniest sh*t I've ever read.

[ 06-06-2001: Message edited by: Ralph_J ]

What, do sites like Google tell your site what they searched for?

I don't know how it works. I'm no webmaster. Can anyone explain?

"QTVR Porn" & "Photoshop Beer Effect"
are two of the most strange searches I've had recently. I have neither on my site and I don't know what the hell a 'beer effect' is...

Xeo - my web server generates a daily log which I download and run through a web log analyzer program (Summary)that generates all kind of useful reports such as what searches people did to reach the site, and of course how many hits and what pages are linking to your site.

[ 06-06-2001: Message edited by: C-Eye ]

the disturbing thing isn't that one person was possessed to search for this in google:

elephant testicles

..the disturbing things is that five people have searched for this exact string thus far.

and one for squirrel testicles and one for chipmunk testicles.

why would you search for that? what exactly are they looking for?

I would have to say they ar looking for animal balls....

If I had a dollar for everytime I've searched for various animals testicles then I'd have......about zero dollars.

I want to smack the person that typed in squirell testicles.

there are strange individuals in this world.

in all fairness, i do have those phrases in text on my page. i used them to make jokes about a trip i took to yosemite. but i'd rather someone search for "squirrel pictures" or "yosemite nature pictures" (had a few of these) rather than anything testicle related.

here's one for a service i most certainly don't offer:

contract killer

at least...not anymore.

I do believe that they were looking for Albert's signature.

Truly hilarious.

Read this from weblogs' Disturbing Search Requests:



(The original search was for "Rose McGowan getting ****ed" but this commentary bit is much funnier, hee hee.)



(And Demonhood, you got some *weird* people going to your site, man...)

I thought I'd been getting away pretty clean, but then I got this hit from a Swedish search engine:

My Little Pony Hate Page

From this, I can only conclude that Swedes have a lot of pent-up frustration, possibly from trying to use the plastic tweezers in their little knives.

On the Harker Student Site (http://web.harker.org/) we had "How be a harker?"

?!

Hehehhee, this is a cool thread.

A few years back, i was reading a 2600 and some dude sent a letter in saying he found a site that was a security hole in some major search engine. The result? You saw what people were requesting, all in your web broser! My friend and I spent an hour reading some of the hits, we were laughing our asses off! Though we did get a little freaked out at times.

If I can find the issue, I'll post the link, funny ass **** . If anyone out there knows what I am talking about, feel free to post the link.

all leg related, all true:

pictures of people with out legs

shaking your legs

oh wow, just found this one:
legs jiggle jiggling shake shaking bounce bouncing wiggle wiggling -girl -woman -women -breasts -female

that one is courtesy of excite (the rest belong to google).

if nobody else has any, i'll keep on going

these are from today's logs:

amusement+park+flasher
(i'm number 2 on google!)

nude+underwater+woman+picture

this is the problem with having the word NUDE anywhere on your webpage. that, and my sarcastic picture quotes keep getting taken literally by the search engine. those people looking for amusement park flashers will be very disappointed by my site.

{edit}
hey, look at that. my 500th post has the word nude in it. i feel so proud.
{/edit}

still keeping it alive...

contortionist


widowmaker (?? maybe related to the contract killer hits i keep getting)

mac internet explorer download manager http redirect location php (yes, that was the search query they used)

That is Swiss Army knives, and the Swiss are from Switzerland! Swedes are from Sweden, and AFAIK Swedish Army Knives are not very famous!

Chris. T.

topic bumped and cleaned up a bit.
will post some queries i've gotten over the past 2 years once i sort thru my logfiles a bit more.

My new weblogs don't show search queries, but the one I remember from my last system was "Quick+ways+to+assasinate+your+boss"

God damn there are some creepy people on the net

lick suck drink
ranked #2
it's appropriate, but i don't think it will "satisfy' the person doing the query.

shaking legs
rank: #3
nothing too perverse about that one.

braveheart costume
rank: #1 on google image
a very old and bad photoshop job on my part. quite popular search around halloween.

where do pickles come from?
rank: #2 on hotbot
guess some teenage pickle has parents that don't communicate with it.

enema experiment
rank: #12
an experiment in WTFology

Someone found my site with this:

where to find sex pictures egypt or online girls from egypt

don't know how. I've never even been to egypt.

;-)

"down the pants"
rank: #66 on google image with safesearch on
my site lacks many things. nudity being one of them.

(similar to one of my previous ones)
lick suck slide
rank: #1
it's good to be the king. well, probably not in a case like this.

<tangent>


Apart from the obvious ones, I appear to have people visiting me using Amigas. And why anyone on web TV would want to access my site escapes me. It's my portfolio, so only relevant to very few people, the vast majority of whom do not use the telly to access the net

Better get that early browser warning page up there


no.: reqs: OS
---: ------: --
1: 119514: Windows
: 66685: Windows 98
: 27616: Windows 2000
: 13824: Windows NT
: 9794: Windows 95
: 1422: Unknown Windows
: 106: Windows 32-bit
: 66: Windows 3.1
: 1: Windows 16-bit
2: 37033: Macintosh
: 36951: Macintosh PowerPC
: 80: Macintosh 68k
: 2: Unknown Macintosh
3: 10386: OS unknown
4: 612: Unix
: 406: Linux
: 155: IRIX
: 48: SunOS
: 2: BSD
: 1: HP-UX
5: 89: WebTV
6: 25: RISC OS
7: 16: Amiga
8: 15: OS/2

</tangent>

engine: MSN
query: oscar meyer weiner song
rank: 10
result: http://photo.demonhood.com/mwsf2003/aau

thought this relevent since it shows some of the macnn crew.