Thread
Bizarre Search Queries?
I know we've got a fair crowd of web site designers/owners lurking here, so I figured I'd pose this question here. In digging through your referrer logs, what strange/bizarre/perverse search queries have you found that lead people to your site?
I'll start off with the one I just found this afternoon. Someone came across an essay I had posted to my site discussing the Medieval works Iwein and Gawein and the Green Knight. What did they search for?
"gay initiation stories"
I'll start off with the one I just found this afternoon. Someone came across an essay I had posted to my site discussing the Medieval works Iwein and Gawein and the Green Knight. What did they search for?
"gay initiation stories"
good topic. i think i may take the cake on this one. but i'll start off small. i get this search string every single day:
nude russell crowe
and no, i don't have any pictures of mr.crowe, nude or otherwise on my site. it's mostly people searching from outside the US too. the interesting things you learn from apache logs....
nude russell crowe
and no, i don't have any pictures of mr.crowe, nude or otherwise on my site. it's mostly people searching from outside the US too. the interesting things you learn from apache logs....
my list only shows the most popular 25 out of 36,944 total. I'm guessing every word known to man doesn't add up to 36,944.
interestingly, the 9th most popular 'word' was 2.0 - hmmm
the most popular? download
this is from a rather unique computer hardware/distributed computing/overclocking site.
interestingly, the 9th most popular 'word' was 2.0 - hmmm
the most popular? download
this is from a rather unique computer hardware/distributed computing/overclocking site.
There's a whole website devoted to this topic at Disturbing Search Requests.
It's some of the funniest sh*t I've ever read.
[ 06-06-2001: Message edited by: Ralph_J ]
It's some of the funniest sh*t I've ever read.
[ 06-06-2001: Message edited by: Ralph_J ]
"QTVR Porn" & "Photoshop Beer Effect"
are two of the most strange searches I've had recently. I have neither on my site and I don't know what the hell a 'beer effect' is...
Xeo - my web server generates a daily log which I download and run through a web log analyzer program (Summary)that generates all kind of useful reports such as what searches people did to reach the site, and of course how many hits and what pages are linking to your site.
[ 06-06-2001: Message edited by: C-Eye ]
are two of the most strange searches I've had recently. I have neither on my site and I don't know what the hell a 'beer effect' is...
Xeo - my web server generates a daily log which I download and run through a web log analyzer program (Summary)that generates all kind of useful reports such as what searches people did to reach the site, and of course how many hits and what pages are linking to your site.
[ 06-06-2001: Message edited by: C-Eye ]
the disturbing thing isn't that one person was possessed to search for this in google:
elephant testicles
..the disturbing things is that five people have searched for this exact string thus far.
and one for squirrel testicles and one for chipmunk testicles.
why would you search for that? what exactly are they looking for?
elephant testicles
..the disturbing things is that five people have searched for this exact string thus far.
and one for squirrel testicles and one for chipmunk testicles.
why would you search for that? what exactly are they looking for?
Quote:
|
Originally posted by Demonhood: the disturbing thing isn't that one person was possessed to search for this in google: elephant testicles ..the disturbing things is that five people have searched for this exact string thus far. and one for squirrel testicles and one for chipmunk testicles. why would you search for that? what exactly are they looking for? |
I would have to say they ar looking for animal balls....
there are strange individuals in this world.
in all fairness, i do have those phrases in text on my page. i used them to make jokes about a trip i took to yosemite. but i'd rather someone search for "squirrel pictures" or "yosemite nature pictures" (had a few of these) rather than anything testicle related.
here's one for a service i most certainly don't offer:
contract killer
at least...not anymore.
in all fairness, i do have those phrases in text on my page. i used them to make jokes about a trip i took to yosemite. but i'd rather someone search for "squirrel pictures" or "yosemite nature pictures" (had a few of these) rather than anything testicle related.
here's one for a service i most certainly don't offer:
contract killer
at least...not anymore.
Pioneering the Drunken Circle tool since 2001.
Truly hilarious.
Read this from weblogs' Disturbing Search Requests:
(The original search was for "Rose McGowan getting ****ed" but this commentary bit is much funnier, hee hee.)
(And Demonhood, you got some *weird* people going to your site, man...)
Read this from weblogs' Disturbing Search Requests:
Quote:
| I like to joke with him about his "unhealthy" worship of unattainable women but who am I kidding? If Katie Holmes showed up at my door crocked to the gills on tequila and asked me to perform lewd and lascivious acts (with her of course) I wouldn't say "sorry sweetie, in your drunken stupor you knocked on the wrong apartment door." |
(The original search was for "Rose McGowan getting ****ed" but this commentary bit is much funnier, hee hee.)
(And Demonhood, you got some *weird* people going to your site, man...)
I thought I'd been getting away pretty clean, but then I got this hit from a Swedish search engine:
My Little Pony Hate Page
From this, I can only conclude that Swedes have a lot of pent-up frustration, possibly from trying to use the plastic tweezers in their little knives.
My Little Pony Hate Page
From this, I can only conclude that Swedes have a lot of pent-up frustration, possibly from trying to use the plastic tweezers in their little knives.
Hehehhee, this is a cool thread.
A few years back, i was reading a 2600 and some dude sent a letter in saying he found a site that was a security hole in some major search engine. The result? You saw what people were requesting, all in your web broser! My friend and I spent an hour reading some of the hits, we were laughing our asses off! Though we did get a little freaked out at times.
If I can find the issue, I'll post the link, funny ass **** . If anyone out there knows what I am talking about, feel free to post the link.
A few years back, i was reading a 2600 and some dude sent a letter in saying he found a site that was a security hole in some major search engine. The result? You saw what people were requesting, all in your web broser! My friend and I spent an hour reading some of the hits, we were laughing our asses off! Though we did get a little freaked out at times.
If I can find the issue, I'll post the link, funny ass **** . If anyone out there knows what I am talking about, feel free to post the link.
all leg related, all true:
pictures of people with out legs
shaking your legs
oh wow, just found this one:
legs jiggle jiggling shake shaking bounce bouncing wiggle wiggling -girl -woman -women -breasts -female
that one is courtesy of excite (the rest belong to google).
pictures of people with out legs
shaking your legs
oh wow, just found this one:
legs jiggle jiggling shake shaking bounce bouncing wiggle wiggling -girl -woman -women -breasts -female
that one is courtesy of excite (the rest belong to google).
if nobody else has any, i'll keep on going 
these are from today's logs:
amusement+park+flasher
(i'm number 2 on google!)
nude+underwater+woman+picture
this is the problem with having the word NUDE anywhere on your webpage. that, and my sarcastic picture quotes keep getting taken literally by the search engine. those people looking for amusement park flashers will be very disappointed by my site.
{edit}
hey, look at that. my 500th post has the word nude in it. i feel so proud.
{/edit}
these are from today's logs:
amusement+park+flasher
(i'm number 2 on google!)
nude+underwater+woman+picture
this is the problem with having the word NUDE anywhere on your webpage. that, and my sarcastic picture quotes keep getting taken literally by the search engine. those people looking for amusement park flashers will be very disappointed by my site.
{edit}
hey, look at that. my 500th post has the word nude in it. i feel so proud.
{/edit}
Quote:
|
Originally posted by Harpy: ...I can only conclude that Swedes have a lot of pent-up frustration, possibly from trying to use the plastic tweezers in their little knives. |
That is Swiss Army knives, and the Swiss are from Switzerland! Swedes are from Sweden, and AFAIK Swedish Army Knives are not very famous!
Chris. T.
shaking legs
rank: #3
nothing too perverse about that one.
braveheart costume
rank: #1 on google image
a very old and bad photoshop job on my part. quite popular search around halloween.
where do pickles come from?
rank: #2 on hotbot
guess some teenage pickle has parents that don't communicate with it.
enema experiment
rank: #12
an experiment in WTFology
rank: #3
nothing too perverse about that one.
braveheart costume
rank: #1 on google image
a very old and bad photoshop job on my part. quite popular search around halloween.
where do pickles come from?
rank: #2 on hotbot
guess some teenage pickle has parents that don't communicate with it.
enema experiment
rank: #12
an experiment in WTFology
<tangent>
Apart from the obvious ones, I appear to have people visiting me using Amigas. And why anyone on web TV would want to access my site escapes me. It's my portfolio, so only relevant to very few people, the vast majority of whom do not use the telly to access the net
Better get that early browser warning page up there
no.: reqs: OS
---: ------: --
1: 119514: Windows
: 66685: Windows 98
: 27616: Windows 2000
: 13824: Windows NT
: 9794: Windows 95
: 1422: Unknown Windows
: 106: Windows 32-bit
: 66: Windows 3.1
: 1: Windows 16-bit
2: 37033: Macintosh
: 36951: Macintosh PowerPC
: 80: Macintosh 68k
: 2: Unknown Macintosh
3: 10386: OS unknown
4: 612: Unix
: 406: Linux
: 155: IRIX
: 48: SunOS
: 2: BSD
: 1: HP-UX
5: 89: WebTV
6: 25: RISC OS
7: 16: Amiga
8: 15: OS/2
</tangent>
Apart from the obvious ones, I appear to have people visiting me using Amigas. And why anyone on web TV would want to access my site escapes me. It's my portfolio, so only relevant to very few people, the vast majority of whom do not use the telly to access the net
Better get that early browser warning page up there
no.: reqs: OS
---: ------: --
1: 119514: Windows
: 66685: Windows 98
: 27616: Windows 2000
: 13824: Windows NT
: 9794: Windows 95
: 1422: Unknown Windows
: 106: Windows 32-bit
: 66: Windows 3.1
: 1: Windows 16-bit
2: 37033: Macintosh
: 36951: Macintosh PowerPC
: 80: Macintosh 68k
: 2: Unknown Macintosh
3: 10386: OS unknown
4: 612: Unix
: 406: Linux
: 155: IRIX
: 48: SunOS
: 2: BSD
: 1: HP-UX
5: 89: WebTV
6: 25: RISC OS
7: 16: Amiga
8: 15: OS/2
</tangent>
engine: MSN
query: oscar meyer weiner song
rank: 10
result: http://photo.demonhood.com/mwsf2003/aau
thought this relevent since it shows some of the macnn crew.
query: oscar meyer weiner song
rank: 10
result: http://photo.demonhood.com/mwsf2003/aau
thought this relevent since it shows some of the macnn crew.
Quote:
|
Originally posted by Demonhood: and one for squirrel testicles and one for chipmunk testicles. why would you search for that? what exactly are they looking for? |
Probably someone who had been browsing FARK.com. There's a picture that posters there frequently use in their Photoshop contest entries, which is a squirrell prominently displaying his, um, nuts.
And from that site Ralph_J linked to:
"rate me while i f**k my cat"
WTF?
Quote:
|
Originally posted by Demonhood: the disturbing thing isn't that one person was possessed to search for this in google: elephant testicles ..the disturbing things is that five people have searched for this exact string thus far. and one for squirrel testicles and one for chipmunk testicles. why would you search for that? what exactly are they looking for? |
Recipes?
query: american history x quotes sex next week girlfriend fight
rank: #1
pretty specific. what they found on my site was a simple reference to the movie. and, i'm sure, repeated use of the word 'quotes', 'sex', 'next', 'week', and 'fight', in separate places.
query: men wearing phillips panties
rank: 124
wait...what?
rank: #1
pretty specific. what they found on my site was a simple reference to the movie. and, i'm sure, repeated use of the word 'quotes', 'sex', 'next', 'week', and 'fight', in separate places.
query: men wearing phillips panties
rank: 124
wait...what?
Lets see here:
Chinese pancakes
star wars sex fetish (AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH)
arrested jail cavity me
bofunk
yams yams yams
boobs piano
mastrap
g4me
online losers (HAHAHHAHHA)
rectom
girls school swim naked
bail bond girl
teh gibson (OMG OMGOMGOGFFLROFLROGGF)
being stripped video naked
blog unsw roundhouse (WTF)
catholic schoolgirls in trouble video
collage girl blow job
collage girl **** in school
enema buzz
the french suck (amelie says otherwise)
big **** men knowing
do guys get pms (huh)
george bush is a **** (HAH)
san antonio under wear
lizzie mcguire naked (yes please)
bitfly (oh dear...)
porn on disney channel
Oh, and the site which takes all these queries, is OMGWTFBBQ.net.
Chinese pancakes
star wars sex fetish (AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH)
arrested jail cavity me
bofunk
yams yams yams
boobs piano
mastrap
g4me
online losers (HAHAHHAHHA)
rectom
girls school swim naked
bail bond girl
teh gibson (OMG OMGOMGOGFFLROFLROGGF)
being stripped video naked
blog unsw roundhouse (WTF)
catholic schoolgirls in trouble video
collage girl blow job
collage girl **** in school
enema buzz
the french suck (amelie says otherwise)
big **** men knowing
do guys get pms (huh)
george bush is a **** (HAH)
san antonio under wear
lizzie mcguire naked (yes please)
bitfly (oh dear...)
porn on disney channel
Oh, and the site which takes all these queries, is OMGWTFBBQ.net.
query: dildos strap onto nose
rank: 3
thoughts: well, i suppose that could be useful. but i'm fresh out, sorry.
query: harry wong quotes
rank: 3
thoughts: sorry, all i have is shaven wong quotes.
query: whorehouse of the immortals
rank: 2
thoughts: right this way mr.macleod.
rank: 3
thoughts: well, i suppose that could be useful. but i'm fresh out, sorry.
query: harry wong quotes
rank: 3
thoughts: sorry, all i have is shaven wong quotes.
query: whorehouse of the immortals
rank: 2
thoughts: right this way mr.macleod.
This will keep you all entertained :
http://www.metaspy.com/
...there are some very scary people out there....
http://www.metaspy.com/
...there are some very scary people out there....
query: can i sleep in my car
rank: 23
thoughts: yes, you can sleep in your car. hell, leave it running. that extra warmth sure makes ya drowsy, doesn't it.
query: funny birthday quotes for nuns
rank: 21
thoughts: i laughed at this because i imagined a nun sitting at a computer browsing my site full of perverse jokes.
rank: 23
thoughts: yes, you can sleep in your car. hell, leave it running. that extra warmth sure makes ya drowsy, doesn't it.
query: funny birthday quotes for nuns
rank: 21
thoughts: i laughed at this because i imagined a nun sitting at a computer browsing my site full of perverse jokes.
The SEX Edition!
query: +lovemobile +sexy
rank: 8
thoughts: this one actually is my fault. the page this search leads to reads: "Hey sexy, wanna take a ride in my lovemobile?"
query: "how to spoon" sex
rank: 6
thoughts: why they added the word 'sex' to this query, i'm not sure. i should be thanking my lucky stars it wasn't "how to spork" sex.
query: monkey+sex+velveeta+motor+oil+with+parsnip+gravy
rank: N/A
thoughts: oh my. this wasn't entered into a search engine, but into the internal search for my photo gallery page. if i had one shread of hope left for mankind, it would have vanished. good thing i'm a cynic eh.
query: "do whales have sex?"
rank: 2
thoughts: short answer: yes. long answer: ask your parents. tell them to use hand puppets.
query: +lovemobile +sexy
rank: 8
thoughts: this one actually is my fault. the page this search leads to reads: "Hey sexy, wanna take a ride in my lovemobile?"
query: "how to spoon" sex
rank: 6
thoughts: why they added the word 'sex' to this query, i'm not sure. i should be thanking my lucky stars it wasn't "how to spork" sex.
query: monkey+sex+velveeta+motor+oil+with+parsnip+gravy
rank: N/A
thoughts: oh my. this wasn't entered into a search engine, but into the internal search for my photo gallery page. if i had one shread of hope left for mankind, it would have vanished. good thing i'm a cynic eh.
query: "do whales have sex?"
rank: 2
thoughts: short answer: yes. long answer: ask your parents. tell them to use hand puppets.